how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
