Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
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