i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
