I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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