i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
