The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
