no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
