its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
