Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
