I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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