Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
