HIV tests are more positive than that guy
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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