He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
