you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Randomize
