Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Little spoons don't ask big questions
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize