It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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