Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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