his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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