Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
