He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
