I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
