good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
