i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
