sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
