took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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