My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
