a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
