I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
