Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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