But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We were destined to go to rehab together
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
