i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
