I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Randomize
