Plan B is the new Plan A
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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