There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
