your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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