They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
