He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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