I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
