the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
