Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
