I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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