Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
