idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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