Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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