you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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