She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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