i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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