Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
