I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
