brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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