we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
