How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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